| CLICK THE PLAY BUTTON TO HEAR THE SONG, SLAPSHOT ROCK! |
| The History |
It all started when a friend from Addison, Illinois (who shall remain nameless so I don't embarass him) played an MP3 song for me on his
stereo. He downloaded it from MP3.com when it was taking any and all artists and you could download all their songs (You won't find it there
now). That song was Slapshot Rock by a man named Nicholas Stern. We laughed for a long time at the horrible music and lyrics of the song,
not to mention the blatant overuse of reverb. Weeks later, my friend came up to me with a videotape and told me that his wife had seen an
Addison public access show called ACTV: Addiscene, and the Addison resident, Nicholas Stern was on it. My friend just HAD to see that tape!
So, he went to the offices where the local access show was recorded and asked for a tape of that day's show, and they granted his request.
The tape contained an interview with Stern and a performance of his song, Slapshot Rock. When I first saw it, It was shown to a group of
co-workers on a large television in my workplace at the time, and needless to say, many of us were rolling on the floor with laughter. We
couldn't believe it was real, and we had to watch it over and over again. It still holds up as the funniest interview and performance of one of
the worst songs I've ever heard. -- Trickman Terry
stereo. He downloaded it from MP3.com when it was taking any and all artists and you could download all their songs (You won't find it there
now). That song was Slapshot Rock by a man named Nicholas Stern. We laughed for a long time at the horrible music and lyrics of the song,
not to mention the blatant overuse of reverb. Weeks later, my friend came up to me with a videotape and told me that his wife had seen an
Addison public access show called ACTV: Addiscene, and the Addison resident, Nicholas Stern was on it. My friend just HAD to see that tape!
So, he went to the offices where the local access show was recorded and asked for a tape of that day's show, and they granted his request.
The tape contained an interview with Stern and a performance of his song, Slapshot Rock. When I first saw it, It was shown to a group of
co-workers on a large television in my workplace at the time, and needless to say, many of us were rolling on the floor with laughter. We
couldn't believe it was real, and we had to watch it over and over again. It still holds up as the funniest interview and performance of one of
the worst songs I've ever heard. -- Trickman Terry
| The Interview |
How this guy got an interview in the first place is beyond me. You'd think even a public access station would check out their prospects before
they interview them. Obviously not. ACTV must be a very accepting station, as they threw this guy on TV without a hitch. The interview was
done by a guy named Don Weiss. This pasty-faced man with brillo-pad hair looked as if he was doing his first interview with a real person
instead of his bedroom mirror. As he lays out the questions for Mr. Stern, the train wreck begins. My favorite parts of the interview include
Nicholas mutilating words such as "genres" and "Des Moines" (Iowa) as well as saying that he could easily make a label rich and that his
songs could make a million dollars. Other notable funnies include Nicholas flailing his head from side to side as if he's looking out for people
that want to beat him up, giving the "thumbs up" every chance he gets, saying that today's music "gets along with grandma" and that "rumor
has it that the majors are already in town," eluding to the notion that they are looking for new talent, just like him. Wake up and smell the
music, Nick...you're just the kind of talent that belongs in your own basement.
they interview them. Obviously not. ACTV must be a very accepting station, as they threw this guy on TV without a hitch. The interview was
done by a guy named Don Weiss. This pasty-faced man with brillo-pad hair looked as if he was doing his first interview with a real person
instead of his bedroom mirror. As he lays out the questions for Mr. Stern, the train wreck begins. My favorite parts of the interview include
Nicholas mutilating words such as "genres" and "Des Moines" (Iowa) as well as saying that he could easily make a label rich and that his
songs could make a million dollars. Other notable funnies include Nicholas flailing his head from side to side as if he's looking out for people
that want to beat him up, giving the "thumbs up" every chance he gets, saying that today's music "gets along with grandma" and that "rumor
has it that the majors are already in town," eluding to the notion that they are looking for new talent, just like him. Wake up and smell the
music, Nick...you're just the kind of talent that belongs in your own basement.
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The Performance |
I still can't believe this is real. If it was a hoax, I'm sure it would have been more widely distributed. Anyway, this is the best part. After watching
the interview with Nicholas Stern, Don Weiss announces that the Addison audience will be treated to a special, live performance of Slapshot
Rock right in their studio. I'm sure Mr. Weiss had no idea what he was in for, and I'm also sure that there was no "tryout" for this spot on ACTV
either. If there was, they definitely wouldn't have aired it! What takes place from this point on is nothing less than a segment from the old
1970s game show, "The Gong Show," except...there is no gong. The torturous song, Slapshot Rock is played as Nicholas Stern does a
horrible lip sync job, and proceeds to dance around (if you can indeed call that dancing) in a whirlwind of bad moves including David Lee Roth
kicks, thumbs up to the camera, gyrating hip movements and even a near-striptease with his leather jacket. Favorite parts: David Lee Roth
kick and tripping when he lands, horrible camera angle above him with a beam that goes right in the middle of the screen, constant throwing
of the microphone in the air and barely catching it, the "power-up" stance and shaking of fists as his horrible guitar solo ends (see top-right
corner of this page), pretending to sing in the microphone while his wrist is twisted backwards after a bad catch, and taking off his jacket and
practically putting his face in the camera lens at the end of his performance, as if to say "Ladies, see how sexy I am?" Too funny!!
the interview with Nicholas Stern, Don Weiss announces that the Addison audience will be treated to a special, live performance of Slapshot
Rock right in their studio. I'm sure Mr. Weiss had no idea what he was in for, and I'm also sure that there was no "tryout" for this spot on ACTV
either. If there was, they definitely wouldn't have aired it! What takes place from this point on is nothing less than a segment from the old
1970s game show, "The Gong Show," except...there is no gong. The torturous song, Slapshot Rock is played as Nicholas Stern does a
horrible lip sync job, and proceeds to dance around (if you can indeed call that dancing) in a whirlwind of bad moves including David Lee Roth
kicks, thumbs up to the camera, gyrating hip movements and even a near-striptease with his leather jacket. Favorite parts: David Lee Roth
kick and tripping when he lands, horrible camera angle above him with a beam that goes right in the middle of the screen, constant throwing
of the microphone in the air and barely catching it, the "power-up" stance and shaking of fists as his horrible guitar solo ends (see top-right
corner of this page), pretending to sing in the microphone while his wrist is twisted backwards after a bad catch, and taking off his jacket and
practically putting his face in the camera lens at the end of his performance, as if to say "Ladies, see how sexy I am?" Too funny!!
|
Well, here it is...the performance of Slapshot Rock by
Nicholas Stern in all its glory. Enjoy!
(If you don't have Windows Media Player,
click here)
Nicholas Stern in all its glory. Enjoy!
(If you don't have Windows Media Player,
click here)
| WMV format 10.5 MB |
| Bonus Music Video and MP3s |
I couldn't believe it when I heard that there was
actually a music video made for this song. See Nick
perform his Slapshot Rock moves on the streets,
complete with railroad crossing bell sounds!
(If you don't have the Quicktime player,
click here)
actually a music video made for this song. See Nick
perform his Slapshot Rock moves on the streets,
complete with railroad crossing bell sounds!
(If you don't have the Quicktime player,
click here)
| MOV format 5.7 MB |
| More Songs!! |
There are actually a total of four songs known to exist by Nicholas Stern. The first two were on his original site at MP3.com (the page
is no longer in existence). Song number three and four were provided to me by Dan R. Dan ran the original Angelfire site that went
down before he could get more info up there. It was the first website tribute to Nicholas Stern, but the memory of it lives on in his
MySpace site. You can access his awesome tribute to Nicholas Stern by going to www.myspace.com/nicholasstern. Thanks Dan!
Now, on with the songs!
is no longer in existence). Song number three and four were provided to me by Dan R. Dan ran the original Angelfire site that went
down before he could get more info up there. It was the first website tribute to Nicholas Stern, but the memory of it lives on in his
MySpace site. You can access his awesome tribute to Nicholas Stern by going to www.myspace.com/nicholasstern. Thanks Dan!
Now, on with the songs!
| Slapshot Rock MP3 4 MB |
| American Women MP3 3 MB |
| Man of Your Dreams MP3 3 MB |
| Hungry for Ambition MP3 3 MB |
| Nicholas Stern's Bio --- His real name is... |
If you go to Wikipedia's (the free, editable encyclopedia) website, and type in Nicholas Stern, you will not get the bio of the "outsider"
rock musician featured here. It was deleted by Wikipedia monitors because of the lack of popularity Nicholas Stern represented at
the time. Dan R. (same guy as above). fought tooth and nail with these moderators to keep the site up there, but it was taken down
anyway. So, to showcase the work that went into this bio, I am presenting part of it here.
rock musician featured here. It was deleted by Wikipedia monitors because of the lack of popularity Nicholas Stern represented at
the time. Dan R. (same guy as above). fought tooth and nail with these moderators to keep the site up there, but it was taken down
anyway. So, to showcase the work that went into this bio, I am presenting part of it here.
Nicholas Stern
Nicholas Stern is the rock and roll
alter ego of Chicago's Steve
Pascuito. Though he has also been
known to refer to himself as The
Titan Eagle. He's most recognized
for his song Slapshot Rock that was
a popular download on the internet
after it's release in 1999.
alter ego of Chicago's Steve
Pascuito. Though he has also been
known to refer to himself as The
Titan Eagle. He's most recognized
for his song Slapshot Rock that was
a popular download on the internet
after it's release in 1999.
| All music and video copyright by their respective owners. ©Copyright 2005-2007 Terry Minnich; All Rights Reserved. |
| The Return of Nicholas Stern! |
Much to the delight of fans, as of December 16th, 2006, there has been an update to the Nicholas Stern MySpace music page found
at http://myspace.com/nicholasstern with a blog about the return of Nicholas Stern, and interview, and an announcement of an album
of songs coming soon! The only thing that could make this news even better would be to find out that there are videos to compliment
his new songs. The Titan Eagle, as he was formerly referred to, has now reincarnated himself as the Titan Cat, which just so
happens to be the name of a new song at the top of this myspace page. Just click on "Titan Cat" in the standalone music player to
hear just one of his new songs. I can't wait for more!
at http://myspace.com/nicholasstern with a blog about the return of Nicholas Stern, and interview, and an announcement of an album
of songs coming soon! The only thing that could make this news even better would be to find out that there are videos to compliment
his new songs. The Titan Eagle, as he was formerly referred to, has now reincarnated himself as the Titan Cat, which just so
happens to be the name of a new song at the top of this myspace page. Just click on "Titan Cat" in the standalone music player to
hear just one of his new songs. I can't wait for more!