Borgnine films

FILMS

Click on each thumbnail to get a larger image.

Eat your heart out,
Lara Croft. This is a
face you won't soon
forget! The smash hit
of the silver screen
is now on DVD!
(Yeah, right.)

The incredible
kung-fu action flick
lands right here in
your greedy little
hands! Borgnine
strikes a deadly
blow to your wallet if
you paid any money
for this movie.

Turbo, Ozone and
Kelly are
hospitalized after a
freak breakdancing
accident. Only
Borgnine has
enough of the right
moves to rock and
pop all over the
greedy politicians
that threaten to
destroy all the street
dancers in the U.S.

Cybernetic Borgnine
action! A treat for
the eyes, ears, nose
and throat. Get me a
doctor...I think I'm
gonna have a
seizure...
in a good way!

Back to Borgnine index

This is the alternate
Laser Mission you
didn't see in the
cheap DVD aisle of
retail stores! In this
version, Borgnine
assumes the
identity of Michael
Gold, but keeps the
bad accent and
checkered blue shirt
to annoy his
enemies and get the
girl. A must see!

It's back to school
for Borgnine!
Passing the SATs
was no sweat, but
when a wicked math
teacher threatens to
fail him for
misconduct, it's
time to break out the
books and dance till
you drop. Oooh!!
Looks like school's
out!